We all have high expectations of our existing and future partners. It is a shopping list of items that we are hoping for and often won’t settle for anything less. But we forget to look closely at what we offer in return. Are we really a great catch? And if not, how do we realize which areas require work? Read on to find out how dateable you are.
Self-awareness is really important when it comes to relationships. Understanding what we bring to the table allows us to develop a shield against unreasonable negativity, and also realize where we could welcome some improvements.
Complete the exercise below to gain an understanding of what makes you a quality partner by answering the questions and writing down the answers. Be honest with yourself and dig deep.
What are the top three qualities that make you great company or a great life partner?
Are you funny and always the life of the party? Intelligent and curious, can share a plethora of knowledge and interesting facts? Giving and loyal, an amazing friend? Playful? Generous and attentive?
Remember, you have to be honest when selecting the qualities, so for each one you chose, write down 3 examples of situations when you displayed the quality.
Be brutal and you’ll learn something about yourself.
What are three exciting things about your life right now?
Are you working on a project that makes you passionate and fulfilled? Do you travel for pleasure or for work and go on incredible and exotic adventures? Do you have great friends who enrich your world and invite you to do cool stuff? Are you learning a new language or an instrument, trying out a new sport or are achieving your status of a master chef?
This isn’t excitement for the sake of excitement. Rather, it’s important for you to have pursuits you are passionate about, that drive you forward. The right partner can then understand you and how to support you. That’s what makes being with you exciting. So just doing fun things for the sake of it won’t work here.
Lifestyle says a lot about us, so if we do little aside from watching television and going to work, we likely won’t have much to share and discuss. In order to diversify your life, fill your life with new experiences, people, hobbies and activities.
Am I a good teammate who brings other people up, or do I drag people down and make things harder?
Do you come up with solutions to problems, or do you create more difficulties and make someone else have to work harder?
This one really cuts to the core of what makes a great partner. Those that make life more enjoyable, exciting and easy are the people everyone wants to be with. So work on becoming a person of value.
Why am I the best partner someone could ever have?
Just write down a few sentences that come to mind immediately when you think of this question. Maybe it’s simple. Maybe it’s not. If you can’t think of anything, ask yourself what you need to change in your life to be able to answer this question. Is it your self-esteem that you need to work on, or do you need to put effort into becoming a more rounded person?
Many people will feel a great sense of satisfaction after answering these questions. Others may begin to feel concerned about certain areas of their life.
If you are certain in your answers, you will now be able to deal with any hurtful relationships in your life. Your sense of self-worth is strong and is supported by these great answers.
If you are feeling concerned, you now have a roadmap of all the items you need to address and work on in life in order to become a better person and a better partner.
To learn how to rid yourself of negative thoughts that may be affecting your ability to answer these questions truthfully and to deal with the emotions that may arise following this exercise, check out our Emotional Toolbox Checklist.